What If The State Gave Out Free Sex Dolls?

It’s 2022, and over the past few years, much crazier and more insane things have happened. What would it truly look like if the Feds issued free sex dolls to everyone? The closest similar policy has to be the debatable “Obamaphone” era policies of the early 2010s, but let’s take a walk through what exactly the real-world impacts, costs, and even benefits could be. At its most absurd, if everyone had to pay the $1000 tax on the price of one of the hyper-realistic sex dolls, and that cost is tied to preventing the sexual assault of your wife or daughter, would you really NOT pay it?

 

What If The State-Issued, Free Sex Dolls?

It would start like this: Emperor Soroz(or another progressive ally) just had another new vision, and the state sociologists had a brilliant inspiration: they would provide every adult male with a free sex doll in an effort to reduce harm and prevent assaults. The idea was met with skepticism at first, but the state was confident that it would be successful.

 

They commissioned the best and brightest engineers or plastic makers in the country to create the perfect sex dolls, ones that were both realistic and durable, from vendors all over the world. The dolls were made of high-quality materials and were designed to be as lifelike as possible, with realistic skin, hair, & features.

The “Federales” distributed the dolls to every adult male in the country, then the results were immediate and staggering. Crime rates plummeted, promptly followed by the safest streets ever seen. People were able to fulfill their sexual desires without harming others, and the overall level of happiness in the country increased.

The state’s genius policy had been a resounding success! They were hailed as heroes for their innovative approach to reducing harm and preventing assaults. The free sex dolls were celebrated as a revolutionary invention that changed the world for the better.

Aren’t Convinced? See How Realistic These Dolls Already Are

What Are the Arguments for Giving Away Sex Dolls for Free?

One may argue that providing free sex dolls to adult males could be an effective way for the state to reduce harm and prevent assaults. One could argue that giving individuals access to sex dolls could provide them with a safe and healthy outlet for their sexual desires, reducing the likelihood that they will engage in harmful behaviors such as assault or harassment.

One could also argue that providing free sex dolls could be an innovative and cost-effective solution to reducing harm and preventing assaults. One could compare the cost of providing free sex dolls to the cost of implementing other measures, such as hiring more police officers or providing education and resources to prevent assault.

In addition, one could argue that providing free sex dolls could have a positive impact on the economy and society as a whole. One could argue that the increased demand for sex dolls could create new jobs and stimulate economic growth and that the reduced rates of assault and harm could improve public safety and overall quality of life.

Overall, one could argue that providing free sex dolls to adult males is a practical, effective, and innovative solution to reducing harm and preventing assaults.

Here Are The Top 17 Benefits of State-Issued Free Sex Dolls:

1. provide access to sexual fulfillment for many adult males who might not have been able to afford it otherwise.
2. reduce harm and prevent sexual assaults by providing a safe and legal outlet for male sexuality.
3. provide a safety net for individuals who need access to emergency or other support services related to sexual health and well-being.
4. be relatively cost-effective compared to other measures for reducing harm and preventing sexual assaults.
5. positive impact on the overall availability and affordability of sex dolls.
6. create job opportunities and economic growth within the sex doll industry.
7. provide a convenient and user-friendly way for eligible individuals to access sexual fulfillment.
8. positive impact on public safety and overall quality of life.
9. reduce social isolation and improve connections and relationships among eligible individuals.
10. positive impact on the overall perception and awareness of harm and sexual assaults, and the role of sex dolls in addressing these issues.
11. positive impact on the overall level of health and well-being among eligible individuals.
12. reduce discrimination and bias in access to sexual fulfillment.
13. positive impact on the overall level of education and knowledge about sexual health and well-being among eligible individuals.
14. reduce barriers to employment and other economic opportunities for individuals in the sex doll industry.
15. positive impact on the overall level of community engagement and participation among eligible individuals and the sex doll industry.
16. reduce the overall burden and cost of providing emergency and other support services related to sexual health and well-being.
17. positive impact on the overall level of environmental awareness and sustainability within the sex doll industry.

 

@MaxineVVaters Aunty! I got Twitter today finally and wanted to say hi. Scabby Sally helped me put it on my Obamaphone.

I’m ur biggest cunstichuent. I live in LA, SF and Portland in the summer, but I always move my tent to ur district in time to vote for you. 💙💙

— Skid Row Richie (unaffiliated commentary) (@skid_richie) December 10, 2022

And Now, The Top 30 Negative Aspects of Taxpayer-Funded Sex Dolls

1. The cost of the program, which would likely be funded by taxpayers, could be significant.
2. There could be reports of fraud and abuse within the program, with some individuals receiving free sex dolls who do not meet the eligibility requirements.
3. The sex dolls provided through the program could be low-quality and not adequately fulfill the desires of all users.
4. Some critics could argue that the program is a prime example of state overreach and wasteful spending.
5. The money being spent on the program could be better used elsewhere, such as on education or healthcare.
6. create a dependency on free sex dolls, rather than empowering individuals to access and afford their own sexual fulfillment.
7. negative impacts on the environment, due to the production and disposal of sex dolls.
8. perpetuate harmful attitudes and behaviors towards women and sexuality.
9. create confusion and misunderstanding about the availability and eligibility for free sex dolls, leading to frustration and disappointment for some individuals.
10. negative impacts on public perception of adult males and state assistance programs.create difficulties for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for emergency purposes, such as if
11. their doll breaks or malfunctions unexpectedly.
12. negative impacts on public health and safety if the sex dolls are not adequately sanitized or maintained.
13. create challenges for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for educational or research purposes, such as studying human sexuality or robot ethics.
14. negative impacts on the overall accessibility and usability of sex dolls, due to the wide range of dolls and capabilities provided through the program.
15. create difficulties for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for personal connections and relationships, such as if they are in long-distance or non-monogamous relationships.
16. create difficulties for individuals who have ethical or moral objections to using sex dolls, such as on religious or feminist grounds.
17. negative impacts on the overall market and demand for sex dolls, such as reducing the incentive for innovation and development within the industry.
18. create challenges for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for performance or artistic purposes, such as if they are sex workers or sex educators.
19. negative impacts on the overall social and cultural acceptance of sex dolls, such as perpetuating stigma or misunderstanding about their use.
20. create difficulties for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for physical or psychological therapy, such as if they have disabilities or trauma-related conditions.
21. create difficulties for individuals who need to dispose of their sex dolls responsibly, such as if they no longer want or need them.
22. negative impacts on the overall aesthetic and design of sex dolls, such as promoting unrealistic or objectifying standards of beauty.
23. create challenges for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for reproductive purposes, such as if they are surrogates or sperm donors.
24. negative impacts on the overall regulation and oversight of sex dolls, such as if there are safety or quality concerns with the dolls provided through the program.
25. create difficulties for individuals who need to use their sex dolls for personal growth or self-discovery, such as if they are exploring their sexuality or gender identity.

 

Looks like the new Obamaphone just dropped. pic.twitter.com/dCd7aVtnZR

— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) August 22, 2022

This Isn’t Even The First “Random Product” That The State Issued(For Free)

In the early 2010s, the U.S. implemented a program known as the Lifeline Assistance program, which gave low-income individuals free phones and phone service. The program, referred to as the “Obamaphone” program, was intended to help bridge the digital divide and provide access to communication services for those who don’t have the option.

The program was “a major W” as the zoomers say. Many people who had previously been unable to afford phone service could stay connected with friends, family, and potential employers, potentially getting them jobs.
However, the program wasn’t perfect! The programs were funded by a fee on phone service providers. Critics argued that the program was being abused by individuals who did not meet the eligibility requirements. Additionally, the phones provided through the program were often rudimentary, low-quality models, and the phone service needed to be improved.
Overall, the era was a mixed bag. While the program did provide access to communication services for many low-income individuals, it had its challenges and criticisms.

Barack Obama looked down at the pulsing Obamaphone and broke out into a grin thick with blackery.

"It's done, love. It's here."

Michelle Obama grabbed a wine glass and poured it to the brim with White Man tears.

"To sexual anarchy." pic.twitter.com/goJdy0udzj

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) October 8, 2021

What Do You Think of Free Sex Dolls?

For better or worse, we may never know the society-saving benefits of free sex dolls, as the idea is preposterous yet hilarious. In the deepest part of our mind, we understand that if this technology was teleported from twenty years into the future, where every little detail was immaculate, and even the temperature and smell could be replicated – we might see massive success. If artificial intelligence could replicate a real-world reaction, especially of kinkier types of sexual actions, this might see a significant if not complete reduction of harm to our people.