Friendships Between Males: Why They Matter
Strong, confident, competent, and dependable – admit it or not, this is how we often view males. People around them can call them when they need something, for instance, if there’s something they cannot do on their own. While not all, when women feel down, they turn to men to get emotional support. They see guys as the solid wall they can lay their back against so they would not collapse. But on whom do men count when they are the ones in need of help?
The adjectives mentioned above do not describe all men. And even those who are like that aren’t always in their top condition. But most men would not say that. They would not like to admit that, because if they do, people would consider them weak. And unfortunately, society is not as friendly to weak men as they are to women. “Man up!” they would say. Because of this, men would rather keep their feelings to themselves and pretend nothing wrong is going on in their minds.
The list of people dying from suicide is predominantly occupied by men. That’s because they bottle their feelings most of the time. And it does not take long for problems to eat anyone, especially if they are faced alone.
From there, we can draw a plausible way to decrease the number of lonely men – which is one for every three. They have to be able to share without being judged. And where else can they find it if not in their circle of male friends?
How Men Can Help Each Other
They say that when you are lonely, your soul is hungry. In order to satisfy it, you need the physical pleasure of being in the company of someone that cares about you. That’s why finding a romantic partner is a priority to some. It ensures that you’ll always have that someone. That’s also why best-reviewed sex dolls companies are exploding in popularity, and are great products at the end of the day. When one has no partner, they can rely on these synthetic love partners to provide the companionship that they need.
However, they solve only a few of men’s mental health problems. There are some things that males cannot say to the members of the opposite sex. And most of the time, they need a reply – something that sex dolls cannot provide.
So the best candidate for being a man’s confidant is his male friends. They are close and care about each other. Also, since they belong to the same sex, they can understand each other better.
Here’s a scenario. If a man has a low sex drive, he would not tell his partner nor strangers about it. That would be embarrassing. On the other hand, they may find it more comfortable to confide to their best pals and ask them for advice. They would not laugh at him; instead, they would sympathize with him. This kind of interaction feeds the soul, and thus, makes men feel less lonely.
Note that this is not always the case. Men are not good at talking to each other. They may not open up even to their best buddies. Also, their pride may prevent them from asking for help. There’s always this almost unbreakable barrier.
How Hard Is It To Find New Friends?
As people progress in life, the divide between them and their friends grows larger. For example, a man who grew in a village in India could now be working in New York. In this case, he is not just emotionally disconnected from his friends, but they are also literally disconnected. Again, they are left alone. And we all know being alone triggers loneliness.
People who have been separated from their friends can just make new ones. You can say that, but that’s not easy to do for men.
A study published in the “Journal of Social and Personal Relationships” has pointed out that it takes 90 hours to befriend someone. Moreover, it requires 200 hours to become close friends. And it should be real quality time that they have spent together. Three men camping for three days have a higher chance of becoming great friends than two men simply working in the same office. And that’s another key.
Male friendships flourish in groups. But often, can a man find a group of other men that have an interest in befriending him? That’s rather difficult to do in cities where people are not even interested in knowing who lives in the next room. They would rather buy and talk to a sex doll than knock at their neighbor’s doors and try to know them.
Despite all that, it is still possible to find guys who are also finding ways to socialize. Again, longing for male companionship is something many men experience. Lucky are those who can find these. But after their first drink, it would be awkward to ask when will be your next “man date.”
Male Bonding Projects
Film-maker and nature guide Dan Doty founded the Evryman Project. In his work, he noticed how men desperately want to reconnect with each other. The project aims to reduce the time it would take men to form friendships. He takes a group of them to retreats. They go hiking or exploring the likes of Berkshires or Yellowstone National Park. The core of the trip is the part where the men sit in a circle and share their deepest thoughts. It encourages the participants to share what they normally would not share. Doty describes it as a simple yet incredibly powerful act.
Vulnerability x time = depth of connection – that is the formula Dan Doty follows. He encourages men to put aside their facades and show each other their most vulnerable sides. Doty believes that that would speed up the formation of bonds between them.
Admittedly, these bonds are not “organic.” They are, in a way, forced to exist. But organic or not, they are still bonds. What happens after the trip depends on the participants. Would they want to continue connecting with these guys who shared a special time with them? Or would they be content in their one-time bonding experience?
Either way, the existence of the Evryman Project and similar ones is both good and bad. It is good because they allow men to build relationships that could last. However, the fact that men need projects like that Evryman to do that is quite disheartening. If only they can be vulnerable without being judged – the world would be a better place.